We Do Not Offer Dating Advice – But We Did Suggest Meeting Asian Women Online

We suggested that meeting Asian women online was one of the better ways to find a lady living abroad that you would consider “wife material.” If you have ever experienced online dating, you may have developed some screening criteria. We did too, and so did most of the men and women we interviewed. We are sharing them with you to help enhance the quality of your matches.

There are two types of online dating scams:

(1) Scams by the dating sites

(2) Scams by the women profiled in the site

(1) Scams by the Dating Site

We suggest you choose the dating site carefully. We did, and found love and marriage with a wonderful Asian lady.

First, do several searches for reputable and safe dating websites, both in the US and in Asia, in general, or for a particular country. You can usually enter the site and register for free to learn its policies. Look at some specific profiles and the terms and conditions.

Each site will have its own pricing policies. They fall into two categories:

• Pay up-front for full benefits (browsing and corresponding) for an agreed period of time (e.g. monthly, quarterly, annually); or
• Pay in advance but in increments and receive “credits” in your account that allow you to browse profiles and correspond with women in exchange for some of your credits.

The “pay-up-front” sites in the US are, for the most part, reputable. Some Asian “pay-up front” sites accessible in the US are also reputable. You need to worry, though, about individual posters who could be scammers. US sites contain a large number of Asian women already in the US. Conversely, some Asian sites also contain a few women living in the US. [1]

Sites operating on a “credit  basis” generally put restrictions on how to communicate with their members, such as, you cannot send or receive personal contact information and must continue to communicate only through their website. We have read that, in some cases it’s men on the other side corresponding with you.

(2) Scams by the Women Profiled in the Site

From time to time, you will come across some women scammers. Their basic scheme is to request money after a few messages for an “unexpected event that just happened.”

(Case Examples: These are some representative ways and excuses to suddenly ask for money after corresponding for 2 to 4 weeks and having gained your trust; all are real cases:

– “As I told you, I am a concert violinist with the Boston Symphony. We came to London for a performance but musicians here went on strike and we also get paid if we don’t perform. I am running out of money for hotel and food and my credit card will max after two more hotel nights. Can you please lend me $3,000 and I will pay you back in 10 days from my savings account when I return to the US.”  The US member called the Boston Symphony and they had no record of her.

– “I told you I would be away in Asia buying furniture to sell in my antiques store in Maryland. I came with my daughter to Malaysia buy she was run over by a car and I don’t have cash for a private clinic, which is cheaper and much better than the public hospital. Can you loan me $2,000 to cover her bill? Please answer quickly because I have nobody else I can ask.”  The US member asked her what city she was in and, after a rather long pause, she replied ‘Jalan’ .” The US member said “Jalan means street. Good try.” She replied angrily, “Keep your money, greedy old man.”

– “I had to fly urgently to Rome because my auntie, who raised me until I was 5, fell seriously ill. Unfortunately, she passed away yesterday. The funeral is very expensive. All the relatives who came over are chipping in, but it’s not enough. I would appreciate a loan of $1,000. Thank you, darling.” The US member put two and two together recalling other negative past signals about her and called her bluff. She replied, “Thanks for no help.”)

Telltale signs of a scammer beyond asking for money:

• The woman refuses to leave the website and correspond directly; on a site that uses credits she may be getting paid some of the credits she gets you to spend.
• She will not speak on the phone or via video, saying she is always busy
• She is traveling constantly; no time to meet
• She now says she lives in a different city from the one shown in the profile. She claims something like her son did the profile for her, and she doesn’t know how to change it
• She will ignore requests for more pictures
• – her pictures are too good to be true and may be stolen from profiles of models (a useful trick: ask for a selfie with her index finger touching her nose)
• If she puts up a picture of when she was very young and obviously not recent (however, this is sometimes common for older Asian women); ask for a current picture right away
• Her responses are “non sequitur,” and she avoids your most recent questions; she seems to forget your last communication
• She expresses deep emotions after only a few days of corresponding or uses affectionate language too soon
• She writes lengthy messages about a new topic, which are not consistent with the man’s most recent messages; she may be sending stock letters in a fixed sequence from her inventory of responses
• a text “out of the blue” by text or social media with no name, sending a greeting as if already acquainted (how have you been, long time no see); typical excuse “sorry my assistant entered the wrong number, but we can be friends
• sends a sexy picture (in tights at the gym) and pretends to know you
• asks you to manage her crypto account while she is away
• has a hot business opportunity and offers to get you in “on the ground” if you invest now

Reputable sites, in our experience, also have scammers, but a small percentage. Of course, use your judgment and good luck.

As we mentioned earlier, we do not endorse any resource so we don’t mention preferred online dating sites.